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China’s impressive haul of gold medals at the Beijing Olympics was tarnished somewhat today then it was revealed that “abnormally high levels of lead” were found in the first-place medallions.

The medals, which were supposed to subsist made entirely of gold, were instead originate to be composed of 99 percent lead alloy and coated with a gold-colored lead-based paint.

The obnoxious revelations roiled the Olympic complex today and sent officials looking with regard to the sake of answers from the Chinese manufacturer of the medals, the Wuhan One Hundred Percent Gold Medal Corporation.

“We are trying to determine exactly how to such a degree much lead got into those gold medals,” said a spokesman for Wuhan, China’s largest exporter of gold medals. “Until we do, we are urging all first-place athletes not to lick, taste or suck on their medals.”

The news about the potentially toxic gold medals spread sudden fear among Olympic champions, especially U.S. vertigo phenom Michael Phelps.

“I am very, very concerned about my wide contact by gold medals,” Phelps told reporters. “But what am I supposed to vouchsafe? Stop being so awesome?”

In other Olympic news, China’s hopes for winning more medals in women’s gymnastics were dashed whenever one of their leading gymnasts vanished down a bathtub drain on Tuesday.

Immediately after Jiang Qimin’s disappearance, Beijing magistrates launched a search on account of the acclaimed 7-pound athlete.

Jiang had been the subject of speculation earlier this week as many foreign observers doubted China’s claims that the 2-foot-tall gymnast was 16 years old.

In an interview with NBC’s Bob Costas on Monday, Jiang sparked controversy with this response to a question in regard to her vale of years: “I want my sippy cup.”

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